gre官方范文

gre官方范文篇一

GRE官方范文全面解读(终极版)

小麦可的分析——AW的intro的解读

AW的intro的解读

经常上论坛的同志们应该发现，有些问题是属于经久不衰的，比如雷同、举例阿等等，甚至包括格式，当然似乎没有一个标准的统一的答案，大家总是众说纷纭。

实际上，正如kizen前辈在他那篇超经典的精华中所无数次强调的一样，“只有ETS的要求才是王道”，在我看来，这绝对是真理。板油们的回答有的时候很难兼顾到全面，因为有时板友的回答是基于他的曾经的经历或者他的朋友的经历，这很明显是很难推广到aw考试这个整体的。而且，由于aw的出分极漫长，所以很多说话者都是考后凭着感觉，比如某位同志可能说自己在考试中用了某种做法在考试中感觉特别好，于是就认为这是值得推广的，然而，成绩并没有出来，无法向大家证明这样的说法是否真的在考试中起到了积极的作用。即使是成绩出来了，考虑到是已经平均后的成绩，也很难看出ETS对于我们细节上的处理是否认可。

那么，怎么办呢？正如kizen前辈所推荐的awintro这个文件，我想再次向大家推荐，因为大家在坛子里讨论似乎遗忘了它——一个真正有价值的东东。Awintro的全名是An Introduction to the Analytical Writing Section of the GRE General Test.* W) Z0 o" W: ]8 W3 i$ d2 f 是ETS官方提供下载的类似于考试说明的一个文件，我在最后面提供给大家下载。 ; B8 o# u) {. B% o

我想说的是，大家如果能很认真地研读很多遍之后，一定会有很多的收获的！说实话，从今年春节上新东方时第一次接触aw开始，我很早就见到这份文件了，但是当时对他没什么感觉，对他的理解是直到这两天才越加的深刻的，字里行间是有很多可供我们揣摸的。在下面我会说一说我对摘取的其中一些文字的理解，同时希望大家能多多指正，一起讨论讨论，毕竟我的资历很浅呢，嘿嘿。当然，我的文字同志们尽可以忽略，但是请大家一定要高度重视这份文件阿，它是唯一的圣经！唯一的来自官方的权威的文字。很多我们在坛子里讨论的热火朝天的问题这里都有清晰的答案。

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第一部分：Overview of the Analytical Writing Section

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asks you to discuss the issue from any perspective(s) you wish, so long as you provide relevant reasons and examples to explain and support your views.

Issue的性质就是让我们从任何的观点出发都可以，只要能支持观点。看来官方并不关注我们如何切入问题，关键关心的是我们如何自圆其说。

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it requires you to critique a given argument by discussing how well reasoned you find it. You will need to consider the logical soundness of the argument rather than to agree or disagree with the position it presents.

我们写的文章并不是一味的批评，而是全面的评估。就是说，原文中论证的较好的部分也要给与肯定。{gre官方范文}.

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The two tasks are complementary in that one requires you to construct your own

argument by taking a position and providing evidence supporting your views on the issue, whereas the other requires you to critique someone else's argument by

assessing its claims and evaluating the evidence it provides.

官方看来，i和a这两部分是非常紧密联系的，这和我们通常的认识不太一样。实际上，它们两者是完全的一个整体。首先写出我们自己的argue，然后再看别人的argue的漏洞。能够看到这一点是很重要的，它告诉我们，其实arguement就是ETS模仿小弱人写的超短的

issue，让我们给评分写个报告而已。大家总是抱怨ets给的范文太少，通过这段话我们可以理会到，其实这两百多个argue不正是ets原汁原味的issue范文吗，尽管错误多多，但是其论证结构，语言方面还是有很多可取的地方。

另一方面，可以看出，在ETS看来，无论是argue还是issue，核心都是position和evidence，显然这是需要在我们的文中占据很大篇幅的。

" t2 v/ _8 z2 A6 d) x& G1 v! {' P! F+ w第二部分：Preparing for the Analytical Writing Section

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It is important to review the skills measured,how the section is scored, scoring guides and score level descriptions, sample topics, scored sample essay responses, and reader commentary. You might find it helpful to review the Issue and Argument pools.

这是官方给出的复习方案，很多人可能觉得没什么大不了的。但是这暗示我们这样的一个步骤是最有效率的，也应该是最靠谱的。是复习的源头。毕竟这是游戏制定者的建议。 .

The responses were varied in content and in the way the writers developed their ideasT. w! n; w% o5 [: K+ A* `) x8

很显然，这里强调了官方是不认可任何模版的，就是说，并不是说模版上的格式就是真理，只要我们能为论证服务，一切的格式都是可以的，官方并没有设置一个限制。这一点从北美范文上的经常出现的奇怪格式可以印证，北美先生不是想让我们来模仿他的奇怪格式，而是想告诉我们格式可以作者而变，没有定式。

6 \5 K+ P2 I4 \$ N' b& X第三部分：Test-Taking Strategies for the Analytical Writing Section

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Within the 45-minute time limit for the Issue task, you will need to allow sufficient time to choose one of the two topics, think about the issue you've chosen, plan a response, and compose your essay. Within the 30-minute time limit for the Argument task, you will need to allow sufficient time to analyze the argument, plan a critique, and compose your response.

我记得前一段时间我曾经在坛子上问过这样的问题，就是从理论上来说，给定的时间究竟够不够分析的？可以看出，官方认为，时间是足够分析加构思的，这一点恐怕很多人不同意，会说我们不是美国人。但是，这至少给我们提供了一个信心，就是官方认为考场上现场分析就够了，官方认为这是正常人可以做到的。这样的话，我们可以练习在模考时就拿来一个从没见过的分析过的题目，在指定的时间内现场分析，现场构思。我想这是ETS给我们指出的路。要知道，提前准备的痕迹是可以轻易看出来的。

You might want to replenish your supply of scratch paper during each scheduled break 官方居然认为草稿纸可能不够用！这暗示着，他希望我们充分利用这纸。那么究竟怎么用，后面的章节会给出介绍。

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第四部分：How the Analytical Writing Section is Scored

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readers do not separate the response into component parts and award a certain number of points for a particular criterion or element such as ideas, organization, sentence structure, or language. Instead, readers assign scores based on the overall quality of the response, considering all of its characteristics in an integrated way.{gre官方范文}.

这段话是说要从整体入手来评分。实际上，他在暗示着我们ideas, organization, sentence structure, language这四大点是我们需要注意的地方。进一步的，他在暗示着没有一个清晰的标准，那么只要reader觉得你牛，你就牛，没有道理可讲的。试想一下，写一个到处都是俗例子俗语言的文章，尽管看上去很牛，但是reader会发自内心的觉得我们牛吗？再进一步，他在暗示着这四项即使不是每一项都很出色，但是总体很好也是可以高分的，这就需要我们至少有一项很出色，可以弥补其他的不足。如果一定要我们有一项很出色的话，那

么我们选那个呢，从他们的排的顺序也可以看得出来，很显然ideas! 毕竟这是Analytical Writing。

each response is scored by two readers。The scores given for the two tasks are then averaged for a final reported score。Your essay responses on the analytical writing section will be reviewed by ETS essay-similarity-detection software and by

experienced essay readers during the scoring process

大家一直关心阅卷流程，这里说的很清楚：全人工阅卷，分数完全由人决定。另一方面，关于雷同，则是在雷同探测器和阅卷人的双重监督下。雷同探测器，这里用的词是will，而

不是might，所以说所有的文章都会被探测一遍。这并不难啊，现在科技这么发达，不过是转眼一瞬间的功夫。而如果阅卷人觉得是抄的，那很有可能就给个低分。举个例子：很多准备的很好、用大段北美的同学的文章，即便通过语言变化可以逃脱雷同探测器的摩爪，但是一个有经验的阅卷人肯定可以看出是从北美上来的，那么他也许没有确凿的证据判雷同，但是他绝对有权力给个低分。

9 E: e0 K8 x& F: I1 k{gre官方范文}.

In light of the high value placed on independent intellectual activity within United States graduate schools and universities

看得出来，这里强调的是独立，那么，我们是否能在文章中充分展示出独立，就决定了能否得到官方的亲睐。很明显，有些文章虽然写得很好，但是一看就是非独立搞出来的，再好也没有用阿。人家不会认同的。

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ETS reserves the right to cancel test scores of any test taker when there is substantial evidence that an essay response

这里说了，如果有确凿的证据就会取消成绩。那么，如果没有确凿的证据呢？这里隐含了，没有确凿的证据的时候，不会取消，但是低分是难免的。

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text that is substantially similar to that found in one or more other GRE essay responses;

quoting or paraphrasing, without attribution, language or ideas that appear in published or unpublished sources;

unacknowledged use of work that has been produced through collaboration with others without citation of the contribution of others;

essays that are submitted as work of the examinee when the ideas or words have, in fact, been borrowed from elsewhere or prepared by another person.

大家总是在问：究竟什么才算雷同？这里给出了最权威的答案。咋一看上去似乎，所有的不加注释的引用都是要被判雷同的，似乎很严格，似乎让人很绝望，没救了好象。 但是紧接着后面就给出了下面一段话：

When one or more of the above circumstances occurs, your essay text, in ETS’s professional judgment, does not reflect the independent, analytical writing skills that this test seeks to measure.

gre官方范文篇二

新gre作文官方范文全解析(五)

智课网GRE备考资料

新gre作文官方范文全解析（五）

第三篇文章

The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Silver Screen Movie Production Company.{gre官方范文}.

According to a recent report from our marketing department, fewer people attended movies produced by Silver Screen during the past year than in any other year.

And yet the percentage of generally favorable comments by movie reviewers about specific Silver Screen movies actually increased during this period.

Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers; so the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available.

Silver Screen should therefore spend more of its budget next year on reaching the public through advertising and less on producing new movies.

原文逻辑顺序：看电影观众减少==〉评论人好评增加==〉观众不关注评论==〉我们要增加广告费投资并减少电影投资

WSAMPLE-1 (score 6)

The argument presented above is relatively sound, however, the author fails to recognize all the elements necessary to evaluate his situation. 这句话也很摸版化，但是重点分析一下这里evaluate his situation，读了后面几段，我们会知道全是在考虑对外界的评估的。所以这一句话就指明了论证的核心，可以说统领全文。 The idea that more money be invested in advertising may be a helpful one, but perhaps not because people are unaware of the current reviews.'

这句话实际上是在进行让步，承认了广告还是有用的，但是原因不同。点明了论证主题句，下面几段全是围绕着让广告更有效这个主题来写的，正如官方评语中就提到了本文有个明显的中心句，就是本句。 To clarify, it

may be necessary to advertise more in order to increase sales, however that could be due to many circumstances such as a decrease in the public's overall attendance, an increase in the cost of movies, or a lack of trust in the opinions of the reviewers.这句话是对主题句的补充，提供了几种具体的他因的论证方向，更重要的作用是，把主题句给打拆开几个小的分枝论点，从而方便下面的讨论。

The advertising director first needs to determine the relative proportion of movie goers that choose to see Silver Screen films. 第一个需要对外界进行的评估就是人群中选择SS的比例。 That will help him to understand his market share.If the population in general is attending less, then he may still be out-profiting his competitors, despite his individual sales decrease.In fact, his relative sales could be increasing. 这几句话是对分枝论点的三段式演绎，即总体人数减少，她有可能还有竞争力，只要他的相对份额更多，竞争能力强，有可能他挣的更多 Determining where he stands in his market will help him to create and implement an action plan.最终的an action plan不就是广告吗，在段末尾很明显(尽管换了个词)的点了一下题。

Another important thing to consder is the relative cost of attending movies to the current standard of living. 第二个需要考虑的就是当前的人们平均生活水平。 If the standard of living is decreasing, it may contribute to an overall decrease in attendance.In that case, advertising could be very helpful, in that a clever campaign could emphasize the low cost of movies as compared to many other leisure activities. 本文来源:

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gre官方范文篇三

GRE官方钦定北美GRE满分范文

GRE官方钦定北美GRE满分范文

下面是一篇GRE官方给出满分的ARGUMENT范文，我们来一起赏析，看看它为何能scored six (先读文章，再看我的点评)

The following appeared as part of an article in a daily newspaper:

"Most companies would agree that as the risk of physical injury occurring on the job increases, the wages paid to employees should also increase. Hence it makes financial sense for employers to make the workplace safer: they could thus reduce their payroll expenses and save money."{gre官方范文}.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

北美GRE范文首段

This argument states that it makes financial sense for employers to make the workplace safer because by making the workplace safer then lower wages could be paid to employees. This conclusion is based on the premise that as the list of physical injury increases, the wages paid to employees should also increase. Howeveer, there are several assumptions that may not necessarily apply to this argument. For example, the costs associated with making the workplace safe must outweigh the increased payroll expenses due to hazardous conditions. Also, one must look at the plausability of improving the work environment. And finally, because most companies agree that as the risk of injury increases so will wages doesn\'t necessarily mean that the all companies which have hazardous work environments agree.

北美GRE作文范文中间段1

The first issue to be addressed is whether increased labor costs justify large capital expenditures to improve the work environment. Clearly one could argue that if making the workplace safe would cost an exorbitant amount of money in comparison to leaving the workplace as is and paying slightly increased wages than it would not make sense to improve the work environment. For example, if making the workplace safe would cost $100 million versus additional payroll expenses of only $5,000 per year, it would make financial sense to simply pay the increased wages. No business or business owner with any sense would pay all that extra money just to save a couple dollars and improve employee health and relations. To consider this, a cost benefit analysis must be made. I also feel that although a cost benefit analysis should be the determining factor with regard to these decisions making financial sense, it may not be the determining factor with regard to making social, moral and ethical sense.

北美GRE范文中间段2

the work environment. This is not the case. Companies look at other considerations such as the negative social ramifications of high on-job injuries. For example, Toyota spends large amounts of money improving its environment because while its goal is to be profitable, it also prides itself on high employee morale and an almost perfectly safe work environment. However, Toyota finds that it can do both, as by improving employee health and employee relations they are guaranteed a more motivated staff, and hence a more efficient staff; this guarantees more money for the business as well as more safety for the employees.

北美GRE写作范文中间段3

Finally one must understand that not all work environments can be made safer. For example, in the case of coal mining, a company only has limited ways of making the work environment safe. While companies may be able to ensure some safety precautions, they may not be able to provide all the safety measures necessary. In other words, a mining company has limited ability to control the air quality within a coal mine and therefore it cannot control the risk of employees getting blacklung. In other words, regardless of the intent of the company, some jobs are simply dangerous in nature.

北美GRE范文末端

In conclusion, while at first it may seem to make financial sense to improve the safety of the work environment sometimes it truly does not make financial sense. Furthermore, financial sense may not be the only issue a company faces. Other types of analyses must be made such as the social ramifications of an unsafe work environment and the overall ability of a company to improve that environment (i.e。， coal mine)。 Before any decision is made, all this things must be considered, not simply the reduction of payroll expenses. GRE这篇官方钦定满分的范文，其最明显的优点在于：

1. 字数高达599words, GRE充分体现了字数为王的判分倾向。

2. 标准的五段制，首段、GRE末端，中间三段，看上去很美。

3. 没有陈词滥调、GRE满篇废话的模板式语言。

只有以上三点离满分还是很远的，GRE之所以SIX，我看更重要的在于，每段各尽其责，既独立又统一，形成了完整的ARGUMENT，specifically:

1. 首段再现了原TOPIC的推理过程，GRE并指出其assumptions多有不适;尤其令阅卷人高兴的是：首段在最后简化罗列了推理中的三个问题。要知道美国人就喜欢的作文---总分式，在首段就把三个ideas罗列出来，然后在中间三段分别展开，先总后分，一目了然。

2. 中一的TS -- “The first issue to be addressed is whether increased labor costs justify large capital expenditures to improve the work environment.”可谓是一针见血，一剑封喉。对于这样严重的推理漏洞，如果不首先指出，其argument必然软弱乏力。此所谓

Topic中的 “必削点”，不可不察。

analysing improving the work environment.”这可谓是剑走偏锋，独辟蹊径，出人所料。文章竟然批评了Topic以钱为本经营理念，提出了要以人为本，这样写是有一定风险，毕竟这不是Issue。

那本文是如何化险为夷的呢?且看本段最后一句“this guarantees more money for the business as well as more safety for the employees.”我不由得长舒一口，人家再次回归了，又回到了Topic中以“Money”为本的推理。

4. 中三的TS – “Finally one must understand that not all work environments can be made safer.”这充分体现了作者不只是坐而论道的arguer，而是关心其可行性的现实主义者，考虑到方案本身的可行性和局限性。

5. 末端不但对首段提出的论点做出了重复性的总结，GRE而且又不厌其烦地把中间三段的ideas一一罗列。如此“啰嗦”估计令某些同学略有不齿，但这恰恰是美国人的最爱，cultural shock了吧?

gre官方范文篇四

GRE范文

The following appeared as part of an article in a daily newspaper:

"Most companies would agree that as the risk of physical injury occurring on the job increases, the wages paid to employees should also increase. Hence it makes financial sense for employers to make the workplace safer: they could thus reduce their payroll expenses and save money."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

GRE首段

This argument states that it makes financial sense for employers to make the workplace safer because by making the workplace safer then lower wages could be paid to employees. This conclusion is based on the premise that as the list of physical injury increases, the wages paid to employees should also increase. Howeveer, there are several assumptions that may not necessarily apply to this argument. For example, the costs associated with making the workplace safe must outweigh the increased payroll expenses due to hazardous conditions. Also, one must look at the plausability of improving the work environment. And finally,

because most companies agree that as the risk of injury increases so will wages doesn\'t necessarily mean that the all companies which have hazardous work environments agree.

GRE中间段1

The first issue to be addressed is whether increased labor costs justify large capital expenditures to improve the work environment. Clearly one could argue that if making the workplace safe would cost an exorbitant amount of money in comparison to leaving the workplace as is and paying slightly increased wages than it would not make sense to improve the work environment. For example, if making the workplace safe would cost $100 million versus additional payroll expenses of only $5,000 per year, it would make financial sense to simply pay the increased wages. No business or business owner with any sense would pay all that extra money just to save a couple dollars and improve employee health and relations. To consider this, a cost benefit analysis must be made. I also feel that although a cost benefit analysis should be the determining factor with regard to these decisions making financial sense, it may not be the determining factor with regard to making social, moral and ethical sense.

GRE中间段2

This argument also relies on the idea that companies solely use financial sense in analysing improving the work environment. This is not the case. Companies look at other considerations such as the negative social ramifications of high on-job

injuries. For example, Toyota spends large amounts of money improving its environment because while its goal is to be profitable, it also prides itself on high employee morale and an almost perfectly safe work environment. However, Toyota finds that it can do both, as by improving employee health and employee relations they are guaranteed a more motivated staff, and hence a more efficient staff; this guarantees more money for the business as well as more safety for the employees. 中间段3

Finally one must understand that not all work environments can be made safer. For example, in the case of coal mining, a company only has limited ways of making the work environment safe. While companies may be able to ensure some safety precautions, they may not be able to provide all the safety measures necessary. In other words, a mining company has limited ability to control the air quality within a coal mine and therefore it cannot control the risk of employees getting blacklung. In other words, regardless of the intent of the company, some jobs are simply dangerous in nature.

末端

In conclusion, while at first it may seem to make financial sense to improve the safety of the work environment sometimes it truly does not make financial sense. Furthermore, financial sense may not be the only issue a company faces. Other types of analyses must be made such as the social ramifications of an unsafe work environment and the overall ability of a company to improve that environment (i.e。， coal mine)。 Before any decision is made, all this things must be considered,

not simply the reduction of payroll expenses.

这篇官方钦定满分的范文，其最明显的优点在于：

1. 字数高达599words, GRE充分体现了字数为王的判分倾向。

2. 标准的五段制，首段、GRE末端，中间三段，看上去很美。

3. 没有陈词滥调、GRE满篇废话的模板式语言。

只有以上三点离满分还是很远的，GRE之所以SIX，我看更重要的在于，每段各尽其责，既独立又统一，形成了完整的ARGUMENT，specifically:

1. 首段再现了原TOPIC的推理过程，GRE并指出其assumptions多有不适;尤其令阅卷人高兴的是：首段在最后简化罗列了推理中的三个问题。要知道美国人就喜欢的作文---总分式，在首段就把三个ideas罗列出来，然后在中间三段分别展开，先总后分，一目了然。

2. 中一的TS -- ―The first issue to be addressed is whether increased labor costs justify large capital expenditures to improve the work environment.‖可谓是一针见血，一剑封喉。对于这样严重的推理漏洞，如果不首先指出，其argument必然软弱乏力。此所谓Topic中的 ―必削点‖，不可不察。

3. 中二的TS – ―This argument also relies on the idea that companies solely use financial sense in analysing improving the work environment.‖这可谓是剑走偏锋，独辟蹊径，出人所料。文章竟然批评了Topic以钱为本经营理念，提出了要以人为本，这样写是有一定风险，毕竟这不是Issue。那本文是如何化险为夷的呢?且看本段最后一句―this guarantees more money for the business as well as more safety for the employees.‖我不由得长舒一口，人家再次回归了，又回到了Topic中以―Money‖为本的推理。

4. 中三的TS – ―Finally one must understand that not all work environments can be made safer.‖这充分体现了作者不只是坐而论道的arguer，而是关心其可行性的现实主义者，考虑到方案本身的可行性和局限性。

5. 末端不但对首段提出的论点做出了重复性的总结，GRE而且又不厌其烦地把中间三段的ideas一一罗列。如此―啰嗦‖估计令某些同学略有不齿，但这恰恰是美国人的最爱，cultural shock了吧?

本文最令我欣赏的地方，GRE就是对EXAMPLES的运用

1. 中间段一，运用了―设例‖GRE(假设的情况)，$100 million啦、$5,000了，很幼稚是吧?可美国人喜欢啊;咱中国的学生，尤其是理工科的，喜欢用一些相当高深的例子，有没有想过那些阅卷老师能看懂吗?尤其是在极短时间内，他们IQ又不高，知识又不多，联想又不丰富……

2. 中间段二，运用了―具例‖GRE(具体的例子)，举一个妇孺皆知的Toyota例子把想说明的问题统统道出，再次体现出美国人喜欢浅显易懂的事例。

3. 中间段三，运用了―泛例‖GRE(某一类人、团体或组织)，通过采煤行业指出了计划可行性的所受到的制约，一个多么质朴无华的泛例，充分地考虑到了阅卷老师的理解能力。 以上这一切怎能不让美国阅卷者频频颔首，GRE啧啧称善呢?他或她手中的笔在纸上划出了一条美丽的弧线 —— 6

相反，有些中国学生，凭借自己繁密的逻辑、GRE渊深的例子和云雾缭绕的行文，每每令那些阅卷者咬唇咂舌，shrug连连，又怎能获得一个理想的分数呢?你挑战了他的智商，他必然报复你的分数。

gre官方范文篇五

ETS官网给出的5分GRE作文范文赏析

ETS官网给出的5分GRE作文范文赏析

以下是ETS官网给出的GRE作文5分范文。 As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Essay Response — Score 5

Surely many of us have expressed the following sentiment, or some variation on it, during our daily commutes to work: "People are getting so stupid these days!" Surrounded as we are by striding and strident automatons with cell phones glued to their ears, PDA's gripped in their palms, and omniscient, omnipresent CNN gleaming in their eyeballs, it's tempting to believe that technology has isolated and infantilized us, essentally transforming us into dependent, conformist morons best equipped to sideswip one another in our SUV's.

Furthermore, hanging around with the younger, pre-commute generation, whom tech-savviness seems to have rendered lethal, is even less reassuring. With "Teen People" style trends shooting through the air from tiger-striped PDA to

zebra-striped PDA, and with the latest starlet gossip zipping from juicy Blackberry to teeny, turbo-charged cell phone, technology seems to support young people's worst tendencies to follow the crowd. Indeed, they have seemingly evolved into

intergalactic conformity police. After all, today's tech-aided teens are, courtesy of authentic, hands-on video games, literally trained to kill; courtesy of chat and instant text messaging, they have their own language; they even have tiny cameras

to efficiently photodocument your fashion blunders! Is this adolescence, or paparazzi terrorist training camp?

With all this evidence, it's easy to believe that tech trends and the

incorporation of technological wizardry into our everyday lives have served mostly to enforce conformity, promote dependence, heighten comsumerism and materialism, and generally create a culture that values self-absorption and personal entitlement over cooperation and collaboration. However, I argue that we are merely in the inchoate stages of learning to live with technology while still loving one another. After all, even given the examples provided earlier in this essay, it seems clear that technology hasn't impaired our thinking and problem-solving capacities. Certainly it has incapacitated our behavior and manners; certainly our values have taken a severe blow. However, we are inarguably more efficient in our badness these days. We're effective worker bees of ineffectiveness!

If T\technology has so increased our senses of self-efficacy that we can become veritable agents of the awful, virtual CEO's of selfishness, certainly it can be beneficial. Harnessed correctly, technology can improve our ability to think and act for ourselves. The first challenge is to figure out how to provide technology users with some direly-needed direction.

Reader Commentary for Essay Response — Score 5

The language of this essay clearly illustrates both its strengths and weaknesses. The flowery and sometimes uncannily keen descriptions are often used to powerful effect, but at other times this descriptive language results in errors in syntax. See, for example, the problems of parallelism in the second-to-last sentence of paragraph 2 ("After all, today's tech-aided teens ...").

There is consistent evidence of facility with syntax and complex vocabulary ("Surrounded as we are by striding and strident automatons with cell phones glued

to their ears, PDA's gripped in their palms, and omniscient, omnipresent CNN gleaming in their eyeballs, it's tempting to believe..."). However, such lucid prose is often countered by an over-reliance on abstractions and tangential reasoning. For example, what does the fact that video games "literally train [teens] to kill" have to do with the use or deterioration of thinking abilities?

Because this essay takes a complex approach to the issue (arguing, in effect, that technology neither enhances nor reduces our ability to think for ourselves, but can do one or the other, depending on the user) and because the author makes use of "appropriate vocabulary and sentence variety," a score of 5 is appropriate.