critique范文
来源:工作总结 发布时间:2013-04-21 点击:
critique范文篇一
对写作非常有用的5个段子
智课网TOEFL备考资料
对写作非常有用的5个段子
摘要: 对写作非常有用的5个段子。本文为大家总结积累的这些托福作文部分的短文大家不妨多多参考,这些短文可以帮助我们积累有用的词汇和句型,也可以掌握文章写作思路,充实托福写作论据。
1. 文科段子:艺术类音乐
It may seem strange that we're discussing music from a Broadwayproduction in this class, "The Lion King" especially, since it'sbased on a popular Hollywood movie. I mean music preformed for Broadway theaterin the heart of New York city surely would seem to be in the western traditionof popular music and not have much in common with the music we have beenstudying in this course, such as gamelan music of Indonesia, or Zulu chants ofSouth Africa, music that developed outside the western tradition of Europe andAmerica. But in fact, musicians have a long-standing tradition of borrowingfront one another's cultures. And this productions director intentionallyincluded both western and non-western music. That way, some of the rhythms,instrument, and harmonies typical of non-western music contrast with andcomplement popular music more familiar to audiences in North America andEurope, music like rock, jazz or Broadway style show tunes. So I want to spendthe rest of this class and most of the next one on the music from the show"The Lion King" as a way of summarizing some of the technicaldistinctions between typical western music and the non-western music that we'vebeen studying. Now the African influence on the music is clear. The story takesplace in Africa. So the director got a South African composer to write songswith a distinctly African sound. And the songs even include words from Africanlanguages. But we'll get back to the African influence later. First let's turnto the music that was written for the shadow puppet scenes in "The LionKing", music based on the Indonesian music used in the shadow puppettheater of that region.
2. 理科段子:天文学
In ancient times, many people believed the earth was a flat disc.Well over 2,000 years ago; the ancient Greek philosophers were able to putforward two good arguments proving that it was not. Direct observations ofheavenly bodies were the basis of both these arguments. First, the Greeks knewthat during eclipses of the moon the earth was between the sun and the moon,and they saw that during these eclipses, the earth's shadow on the moon wasalways round, they realized that this could be true only if the earth wasspherical, It the earth was a flat disc, then its shadow during eclipses wouldnot be a prefect circle; it would be stretched out into a long ellipse. Thesecond argument was based on what the Greeks saw during their travels. Theynoticed that the North Star, or Polaris, appeared lower in the sky when theytraveled south, in the more northerly regions, the North Star appeared to themto be much higher in the sky. By the way, it was also from this difference inthe apparent position of the North Star that the Greeks first
calculated theapproximate distance around the circumference of the earth, a figure recordedin ancient documents says 400.000 stadium, that's the plural of the worldstadium. Today, it's not known exactly what length one stadium represents, butlet's say it was about 200 meters, the length of many athletic stadiums. Thiswould make the Greeks estimate about twice the figure accepted today, a verygood estimate for those writing so long before even the first telescope wasinvented.
3. 文科段子:文学名著
Continuing our survey of the 19th century, let's take a look now atHarriet Beecher Stowe. Now Stowe is best known for her novel Uncle Tom's Cabin,a book that details the harshness of plantation life in the south. The book
wasextremely popular in the United States as well as in other countries.Ironically though, for all the attention given to
Uncle Tom's Cabin, it's farfrom Stowe's best work. She did write one other novel about life in the south,but much of her best work has nothing with the south at all. In fact, Stowe'sbest writing is about village life in the New England's states in the 19thcentury. In recording to the customs of the villages she wrote about, Stoweclaimed that her purpose was to reflect the images as realistically aspossible. She usually succeeded, for her settings were often describedaccurately and in detail. In this sense, she was an important forerunner to therealistic movement that became popular later in the 19th century. She was oneof the first writers to use local dialect for her characters when they spoke.And she did this for 30 years before Mark Twain popularized the use of localdialect. It makes sense that Stowe would write about New England life, sinceshe was born in Connecticut. As a young woman there, she worked as a teacher.The teaching job helped lead to her first published work, a geography book forchildren. Later when she was married, her writing helped her support her familyfinancially. Throughout her life, she wrote poems, travel books, biographicalsketches and children's books, as well as novels for adults.
4. 生活段子:噪音影响
I'm grad to see so many of you here. We've become really alarmedover the health center by the number of students we are seeing, who areexperiencing hearing loss. First, I want to go over some basic about hearing.Then we can take a look at our school environment and see if we can figure outsome ways to protect hearing. The leading cause of
preventable hearing loss isexcessive noise. Too much moderate noise for a long time or some types ofintense noise for even a short time can damage hearing. Loudness is measured inunits called decibels. One decibel is the lowest sound that the average personcan here. Sounds up to 80 decibels generally aren't harmful. That's noise liketraffic on a busy street. But anything louder than 80 decibels, especially withcontinuous exposure, may eventually hurt your hearing. Once you are up toaround 140 decibels, that's like a jet plane taking off, then you might evenfeel pain in your ears. And pains are sure sign that your hearing's at risk.Even one exposure to a really loud noise at close range can cause hearing loss.So what you need to do is limit your exposure to harmful levels. If you passalong this handout, we can take a look at the decibel level of some commoncampus sounds. Notice how loud those horns are that people take to
footballgames. They are really dangerous if blown right behind you. Now, let's try togenerate a list of damaging noises.
5. 文科段子:电影艺术
To get us started this semester I am going to spend the first twoclasses giving you background lectures about some basic cinematic concepts.Once you are a little more familiar with basic film terminology, we will beready to look at the history of movies in the United States. You'll be expectedto attend showing of films on Tuesday evenings at 7 o'clock in JenningsAuditorium. That's our lab. Then during our Wednesday seminar, we'll discuss indepth the movie we saw the night before. We are not covering silent films inthis course. We will begin with the first talking motion picture, The JazzSinger, released in 1927. The next week, we'll be looking at The Gold Diggersof 1933, a piece that is very
representative of the escapist trend in filmsreleased during the depression. Some of the films we will be watching willprobably be new to you, like Frank Capra's Why We Fight. Others you might havealready seen on TV like Rebel without A Cause starring James Deane, or StanleyCooper's Doctor's Strange Love. However, I hope you see even familiar film withnew eye. In the last three weeks of the course, we will be watching films fromthe 1980s and you'll
choose one of them as a subject for an extensive writtencritique. We'll talk more about the requirements of the critique later in thissemester.
以上是 托福 写作高分大家可以借鉴的5篇短文,希望同学们从高分词汇、句式和构架方式等多方面来参考分析,照搬照抄是大忌,灵活演化才是 托福写作 范文运用的诀窍所在。
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相关字搜索: 托福写作
critique范文篇二
阅读写作范文(2013王煜坤)
Final Critique for Practical English (II)
Andrew Leonard’s We’ve Got Mail-Always demonstrates the merits and demerits of using e-mail, which people always receive. In the essay, Leonard maintains that e-mail can be helpful and convenient with proper use, but it can also cause trouble and deprive people of their free time. When people all around the world are connected by e-mail, all boundaries begin to demolish, thus e-mail can either be a blessing or a curse. In Our Schedules, Our Selves, Jay Walljasper discusses the phenomenon that many people become slaves to their schedules on account of the acceleration of economy and new technology. To solve this problem, Walljasper suggests people set aside some time for those magic and spontaneous moments that people lack. He contends that time expand and contract according to its own pattern.
The most obvious similarity of the two essays is that they both talk about the decline of people’s free time due to the fast developing pace of science and technology. For example, e-mail can mix the boundary of work and relax, and thus results in a tight schedule. And both of the authors support their ideas with several vivid examples. However, the two passages are not totally the same. The former puts more emphasis on e-mail itself, and discusses both good and bad influence of it, but the latter focuses more on the reason for a tight schedule and different ways to get rid of it.
Totally speaking, both of the two passages are coherent to the topic and clearly developed. What I like most about Leonard’s article is that he uses some sentences
which seem to be contradictory and hard to understand at first sight, but when I read them again and think of them carefully, I begin to comprehend the meaning of them. In fact, these sentences are the consequence of the author’s in-depth thinking, and it is these sentences that make the passage outstanding. Walljasper’s passage is well organized and easy to understand, and in my opinion, the start of the passage is very humorous and can catch the readers’ eyes. However, one thing I dislike about the article is that he uses some words which I think are not supposed to appear in such a formal essay. For instance, he uses the word “damn” in the first paragraph. Personally I believe it’s a rude word. Despite of this, still, I think it’s a good article.
In conclusion, Leonard discusses that e-mail has both merits and demerits, and it can be either a blessing or a curse. Whether it will do good or bad depends on how we use it. He wants us to seek e-mail’s benefits and avoid its disadvantages. Walljasper argues that people should be master, rather than slaves to their schedule, although the developing of science and technology has pushed people very hard. From the two articles, we can summarize that all of us are closely involved in new technologies, and these technologies can be good or bad. We should not waste our time on them, but must instead, make the most of them and save time.
References:
Andrew Leonard (1999). We’ve got emails --- always. In P.S.Gardner (Eds). New
directions reading, writing and critical thinking (pp.136-147). Cambridge:
Cambridge University Press.
Jay Walljasper (2003), How to Stop Time: Rip up your Schedule and Take Back Your
Life. In P.S.Gardner (Eds). New directions reading, writing and critical thinking (pp.136-147). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
critique范文篇三
Argument官方范文
ARGUMENT官方范文
核心论证方法:
1.
2.
3.
4. 找出隐含假设(并质疑); 寻找它因和寻找反例 think of as many and ; 加条件后讨论 think of what might weaken or lend support to the claims; 提出改进方案 ask yreasoning more sound
^同学们以上四点是核心论证方法!!!所有的满分范文中都用到了这四种方法。
^其中,在论证时需要:think of what additional ev这里重要的是加上一个常识性条件后,能意识到,有些情况,是支持原命题的。这一点至关重要,我们是讨论,要求同存异,而不是一味的批驳。
满分作文的模式:essays at the 6 score level that begin by briefly summarizing the argument and then explicitly stating and developing the main points of the critique。先复述题目,然后清晰的表明观点,然后发展。
高分作文的攻击顺序:You might want to organize your critique around the organization of the argument itself, discussing the argument line by line. Or you might want to first point out a central questionable assumption and then move on to discuss related flaws in the argument's line of reasoning.
这里给出了两种攻击顺序,根据我读了一个多月 awintro 的经验来看,一般官方给出的建议总是越靠后的越好越nb,正如在官方推荐 issue观点的时候
总是把平衡观点放在最后。所以这里比较好的方案是先质疑一个核心的假设,然后再按照原文逻辑来搞。
SAMPLE 1
Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skatingaccidents indicate the need for more or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.). and reflective equipment, roller-skaters will greatly reduce their risk of being
【原题逻辑顺序为:数据显示了对保护装备的需求展开说明这个数据是怎样显示这样的需求的(即用这个装备有什么效果)结论:为了达到这个效果我们应该重金买这保护设备。】
[Benchmark 6]
The notion that protective gear reduces the injuries suffered in accidents seems at first glance to be an obvious conclusion. After all, it is the intent of these products to either prevent accidents from occurring in the first place or to reduce the injuries suffered by the wearer should an accident occur. 前两句首先肯定了原命题中值得肯定的地方。这是求同存异的表现。注意这里第一句作者同意原命题的同时,在第二句紧接着就给出了展开的证明。而没有光是罗列观点。However, the conclusion that investing in high quality protective gear greatly reduces the risk of being severely injured in an accident may mask other (and potentially more significant) causes of injuries and may inspire people to over invest financially and psychologically in protective gear. 再说原命题是存在逻辑漏洞的,即它因。这里并没有展开论证,因为这是全文的中心句,整个文章
都在后面给予论证。同时,最后半句给出了论据中的潜在后果。
First of all, as mentioned in the argument, there are two distinct kinds of gear -- preventative gear (such as light reflecting material) and protective gear (such as helmets). body打头第一段是属于攻击总前提假设的,作者认为这个(即保护性设备和防护性设备的差别)是有必要在讨论一切之前弄清楚的。论证方法为质疑假设,加条件后讨论,提出建议。实际上,这个前提对应的就是开头段的前两句话。深层的含义就是,尽管我在开头对你的某一个部分作了让步似的同意,但是这个同意也是建立在一定的假设基础上的,要是这个假设搞不清楚,哼哼我让不让步还不一定呢!本段就来讨论这个假设基础。Preventative gear is intended to warn others, presumably for the most part motorists, of the presence of the roller skater. It works only if the "other" is a responsible and caring individual who will afford the skater the necessary space and attention. Protective gear is intended to reduce the effect of any accident, whether it is caused by another, the skater or some force of nature. Protective gear does little, if anything, to prevent accidents but is presumed to reduce the injuries that occur in an accident.这两句分别从两个方面进行了论述,为本段第一句话的论证进行服务,每一方面的具体方法是先定义,再比较。论证方法为加上不同的条件后进行讨论,比如前一句话假定只有防护性装备会怎样,后一句话假定只有保护性装备会怎么样。The statistics on injuries suffered by skaters would be more interesting if the skaters were grouped into those wearing no gear at all, those wearing protective gear only, those wearing preventative gear only and those wearing both. 这里提出了作者的建议,即如何通过进一步的完善使原命题更加的有力。These statistics could provide skaters with a clearer understanding of which kinds of gear are more beneficial. 如果这个问题(保护防护设备的差别)解决了后面的讨论才能继续。所以说,
The argument above is weakened by the fact that it does not take into account the inherent differences between skaters who wear gear and those who do not. 从本段起,连着的三个自然段就是按照原文逻辑链的顺序进行攻击和质疑。实际上,这三段对应的就是开头段的however之后的话。本段先质疑了人的本质的差异。论证方法是加条件后讨论。It is at least likely that those who wear gear may be generally more responsible and/or safety conscious individuals. The skaters who wear gear may be less likely to cause accidents through careless or dangerous behavior. It may, in fact, be their natural caution and responsibility that keeps them out of the emergency room rather than the gear itself. 以上三句话展开证明第一个分支观点,论证方法就是大名鼎鼎的三段论。加入常识性条件。即本身很注意安全的人配戴保护装置配戴装置后就能少出事故故本身注意安全才使得少出事故。Also, the statistic above is based entirely on those who are skating in streets and parking lots which are relatively dangerous places to skate in the first place. People who are generally more safety conscious (and therefore more likely to wear gear) may choose to skate in safer areas such as parks or back yards. 以上两句展开证明第二个分支观点,论证方法同样为大名鼎鼎的三段论,加上常识性条件。即街道公园本身不太安全本身注意安全的人会选择安全的地方来这里的人都是本身不太注意安全的。这里最后一点是我给补充上的,原文没有论证完全,但是基本的框架还是有的。
The statistic also goes not differentiate between severity of injuries. 攻击逻辑链的第二步,受伤的程度没有说清。这里的论证方法核心是质疑隐含假设,加条件后讨论。The conclusion that safety gear prevents severe injuries suggests that it is presumed that people come to the emergency room only with severe injuries. 指出原隐含假设。This is certainly not the case.指出它错了。Also, given that skating is a recreational activity that may be primarily engaged in during evenings and weekends (when doctors' offices are closed), skater with less severe injuries may be especially likely to come to the emergency room for
treatment. 加上人们晚上去滑的人多这个条件后讨论,最终削弱原命题。
Finally, there is absolutely no evidence provided that high quality (and presumably more expensive) gear is any more beneficial than other kinds of gear. 攻击逻辑联的第三步,质量好的不一定有用。核心论证方法为列举它因和提出建议。For example, a simple white t-shirt may provide the same preventative benefit as a higher quality, more expensive, shirt designed only for skating. 简单的t-shirt也能很有用。Before skaters are encouraged to invest heavily in gear, a more complete understanding of the benefit provided by individual pieces of gear would be helpful.建议我们对器材考虑得更加全面些。
The argument for safety gear based on emergency room statistics could provide important information and potentially saves lives.强调原文的初衷还是很好的,就好像两个人在那里辩论,范文把原文给说急了,范文怕原文不高兴了,就再哄哄他:别看我骂了这么多,你的初衷还是好的嘛!值得肯定。Before conclusions about the amount and kinds of investments that should be made in gear are reached, however, a more complete understanding of the benefits are needed.范文看原文也不怎么哭了,于是最终还是委婉的表达了自己的建议。After all, a false confidence in ineffective gear could be just as dangerous asno gear at all.最后补充论证自己的建议:论证方法为反证法。同时范文在最后吓唬一吓原文,告诉他不这样做的可怕的后果。
分析:
(1)分析原题目中可取之处;指出原文中不足之处;推出论据中的潜在后果。(这里的第一点展开证明,这样虽然没有直接复述题目,但是这三点说完后整个框架就很清楚了)
critique范文篇四
Argument全部满分官方范文分析
小麦可的分析——argument全部官方范文分析
写在前面的话:
1、官方范文的重要性不言而喻,论坛里对官方范文的态度也有褒有贬,有人说这些6分的官方文章都是大牛写出来的,我们学不来,于是有的同学的重心就转向了北美范文。但有一点是不可否认的——官方范文是真的6分,可是ets从来没承认过任何一个北美范文是六分的,尽管也确实都是很好的文章。2、关于argument的重要性:很多人认为argument相对于issue来说容易些,也更好操作些,更容易拿高分。我个人认为这是个误区。我们最后拿到的成绩是个平均分,没有人知道具体每篇是多少。尽管有的同学会猜测自己得分是多少多少,但是猜测毕竟是猜测。因为游戏是ets定的,他的标准和我们心中接受的标准肯定是不一样的,打个比方,看看后面第三篇满分范文,让一般人看,估计没有几个人会毫不犹豫地给满分,甚至高分,但在ets眼中它就是满分;另外,实际上新东方的模版写出来的argu文章和官方范文给出的满分文章是有很大差别的,主要体现在是一个是零散凑成的(所谓的让步式攻击有时只是形式上的)而另一个是有核心思想的,我会在后面的分析中具体说明。既然这样,那完全有可能最终4分是来源于3分的argue加5分的issue,而不是反之。所以说,我们有可能高估了我们写argument的能力。
3、对于官方范文,实际上这些看上去很天马行空的文章,潜在的蕴涵了ets所要求的所有要点。之所以很多人看了很多遍没有看出什么可借鉴的地方,源于两点:一是没有和awintro上的要求相对应起来看,二是没有把有限的6篇官方范文进行横比。
4、本文整体结构:
第一部分awintro中A部分重点语句的归纳和梳理,方便与后面的分析相对照。这里所有的英文均一字不差的摘自awintro。同时也作为我的另一篇文章“awintro的解读”中的argument部分的补充。第二部分是我的对于全部6份官方范文(结合awintro)的分析,本文属于个人观点,一家之言难免存在偏颇和不足之处,恳请大家多多指教。欢迎讨论哦!第三部分为总结。 第四部分为了显示不是纯扯淡,并让我的证明更加具体,我按照我分析出来的结果也独立写了一篇文章,请大家狂拍。
注:我把awintro和没有加入分析的六个范文放在附件里了,欢迎大家下载。
5、ets就像是一个羞涩的女孩,从来不会直接告诉我们她想要什么,但同时,也在无时不刻的不在暗示我们她想要什么。
第一部分:awintro的归纳和整理。
1、在拿到题目后应该找出这些:what is offered as evidence, support, or proof;what is explicitly stated, claimed, or concluded;what is assumed or supposed, perhaps without justification or proof;what is not stated, but necessarily follows from what is stated。总结一下:即论据,结论,
推理过程中的未加证明的假设,论据中的潜在后果。这四点都是需要我们尽量展示在第一段里面的。
2、同时,还要考虑原题目中的逻辑链:In addition, you should consider the structure of the argument。在这过程中更重要的是:sometimes implicit steps in the thinking process and consider whether the movement from each one to the next is logically sound。这是我们攻击的要点,尤其是隐含的逻辑步骤。
3、在分析时:You will not be expected to know methods of analysis or technical terms.随后在范文中可以看出,几乎是没有那种像新东方那样精确错误名词的,而只是就着错误本身的逻辑进行分析。不需要给人感觉咱们特意学过逻辑,如果拽那些名词就给人感觉咱们特意学过逻辑,嘿嘿那既然是专业的要求也就更加苛刻了。
4、awintro中举一个例子:For instance, in one topic an elementary school principal might conclude that the new playground equipment has improved student attendance because absentee rates have declined since it was installed.论证的思路为:(1)意识到存在它因you will simply need to see that there are other possible explanations for the improved attendance,(2)提供具体的它因 to offer some common-sense examples, (3)从结论考虑,怎样才能使论证完整有力,即如何改进and perhaps to suggest what would be necessary to verify the conclusion. For instance, absentee rates might have decreased because the climate was mild. This would have to be ruled out in order for the principal’s conclusion to be valid.
5、官方认为的有几个关键名词需要解释,其中analysis这个词的解释很重要,很多同学知道这个词的意思是分析,但什么是分析就说得不是很清楚了。这里给出了清晰的答案:the process of breaking something (e.g., an argument) down into its component parts in order to understand how they work together to make up the whole。说白了,就是把原题中的三段式论证给打拆开,逐一地进行分析。同样的analytical writing的核心也就是拆开原命题,分成1串逻辑链,然后一部分一部分地讨论。
6、核心论证方法:找出隐含假设(并质疑)identify as many of its claims, conclusions, and underlying assumptions as possible;寻找它因和寻找反例think of as many alternative explanations and counterexamples as you can;加条件后讨论think of what additional evidence might weaken or lend support to the claims;提出改进方案ask yourself what changes in the argument would make the reasoning more sound。同学们以上四点是核心论证方法!!!所有的满分范文中都用到了这四种方法。
其中,在论证时需要:think of what additional evidence might weaken or lend support to the claims。这里重要的是加上一个常识性条件后,能意识到,有些情况,是支持原命题的。这一点至关重要,我们是讨论,要求同存异,而不是一味的批驳。
7、满分作文的模式:essays at the 6 score level that begin by briefly summarizing the argument and then explicitly stating and developing the main points of the critique。先复述题目,然后清晰的表明观点,然后发展。
8、高分作文的攻击顺序:You might want to organize your critique around the organization of the argument itself, discussing the argument line by line. Or you might want to first point out a central questionable assumption and then move on to discuss related flaws in the argument's line of reasoning.这里给出了两种攻击顺序,根据我读了一个多月awintro的经验来看,一般官方给出的建议总是越靠后的越好越nb,正如在官方推荐issue观点的时候总是把平衡观点放在最后。所以这里比较好的方案是先质疑一个核心的假设,然后再按照原文逻辑来搞。 9、6分作文标准:
A 6 paper presents a cogent, well-articulated critique of the argument and conveys meaning skillfully.A typical paper in this category
• clearly identifies important features of the argument and analyzes them insightfully
• develops ideas cogently, organizes them logically, and connects them with clear transitions • effectively supports the main points of the critique
• demonstrates control of language, including appropriate word choice and sentence variety
• demonstrates facility with the conventions (i.e., grammar, usage, and mechanics) of standard written English but may have minor errors
第二部分:范文分析。
第一篇文章Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after rollerskating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within this group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots were not wearing any protective clothing (helmets, knee pads, etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.). Clearly, these statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment, rollerskaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.
原题逻辑顺序为:数据显示了对保护装备的需求==〉展开说明这个数据是怎样显示这样的需求的(即用这个装备有什么效果)==〉结论:为了达到这个效果我们应该重金买这保护设备。 Benchmark 6The notion that protective gear reduces the injuries suffered in accidents seems at first glance to be an obvious conclusion. After all, it is the intent of these products to either prevent accidents from occuring in the first place or to reduce the injuries suffered by the wearer should an accident occur. 前两句首先肯定了原命题中值得肯定的地方。这是求同存异的表现。注意这里第一句作者同意原命题的同时,在第二句紧接着就给出了展开的证明。而没有光是罗列观点。However, the conclusion that investing in high quality protective gear greatly reduces the risk of being severely injured in an accident may mask other (and potentially more significant) causes of injuries and may inspire people to over invest financially and psychologically in protective gear. 再说原命题是存在逻辑漏洞的,即它因。这里并没有展开论证,因为这是全文的中心句,整个文章都在后面
给予论证。同时,最后半句给出了论据中的潜在后果。First of all, as mentioned in the argument, there are two distinct kinds of gear -- preventative gear (such as light reflecting material) and protective gear (such as helmets). body打头第一段是属于攻击总前提假设的,作者认为这个(即保护性设备和防护性设备的差别)是有必要在讨论一切之前弄清楚的。论证方法为质疑假设,加条件后讨论,提出建议。实际上,这个前提对应的就是开头段的前两句话。深层的含义就是,尽管我在开头对你的某一个部分作了让步似的同意,但是这个同意也是建立在一定的假设基础上的,要是这个假设搞不清楚,哼哼我让不让步还不一定呢!本段就来讨论这个假设基础。Preventative gear is intended to warn others, presumably for the most part motorists, of the presence of the roller skater. It works only if the "other" is a responsible and caring individual who will afford the skater the necessary space and attention. Protective gear is intended to reduce the effect of any accident, whether it is caused by an other, the skater or some force of nature. Protective gear does little, if anything, to prevent accidents but is presumed to reduce the injuries that occur in an accident. 这两句分别从两个方面进行了论述,为本段第一句话的论证进行服务,每一方面的具体方法是先定义,再比较。论证方法为加上不同的条件后进行讨论,比如前一句话假定只有防护性装备会怎样,后一句话假定只有保护性装备会怎么样。The statistics on injuries suffered by skaters would be more interesting if the skaters were grouped into those wearing no gear at all, those wearing protective gear only, those wearing preventative gear only and those wearing both. 这里提出了作者的建议,即如何通过进一步的完善使原命题更加的有力。These statistics could provide skaters with a clearer understanding of which kinds of gear are more beneficial. 如果这个问题(保护防护设备的差别)解决了后面的讨论才能继续。所以说,总的来说这一段是讨论了原文一个核心的前提。
The argument above is weakened by the fact that it does not take into account the inherent differences between skaters who wear gear and those who do not.从本段起,连着的三个自然段就是按照原文逻辑链的顺序进行攻击和质疑。实际上,这三段对应的就是开头段的however之后的话。本段先质疑了人的本质的差异。论证方法是加条件后讨论。If is at least likely that those who wear gear may be generally more responsible and/or safety conscious individuals. The skaters who wear gear may be less likely to cause accidents through careless or dangerous behavior. It may, in fact, be their natural caution and responsibility that keeps them out of the emergency room rather than the gear itself.以上三句话展开证明第一个分支观点,论证方法就是大名鼎鼎的三段论。加入常识性条件。即本身很注意安全的人配戴保护装置==〉配戴装置后就能少出事故==〉故本身注意安全才使得少出事故。 Also, the statistic above is based entirely on those who are skating in streets and parking lots which are relatively dangerous places to skate in the first place. People who are generally more safety conscious (and therefore more likely to wear gear) may choose to skate in safer areas such as parks or back yards. 以上两句展开证明第二个分支观点,论证方法同样为大名鼎鼎的三段论,加上常识性条件。即街道公园本身不太安全==〉本身注意安全的人会选择安全的地方==〉来这里的人都是本身不太注意安全的。这里最后一点是我给补充上的,原文没有论证完全,但是基本的框架还是有的。
The statistic also goes not differentiate between severity of injuries.攻击逻辑链的第二步,受伤的程度没有说清。这里的论证方法核心是质疑隐含假设,加条件后讨论。The conclusion that safety gear prevents severe injuries suggests that it is presumed that people come to the emergency room only with severe injuries. 指出原隐含假设。This is certainly not the case.指出它错了。 Also,
given that skating is a recreational activity that may be primarily engaged in during evenings and weekends (when doctors' offices are closed), skater with less severe injuries may be especially likely to come to the emergency room for treatment. 加上人们晚上去滑的人多这个条件后讨论,最终削弱原命题。
Finally, there is absolutely no evidence provided that high quality (and presumably more expensive) gear is any more beneficial than other kinds of gear.攻击逻辑联的第三步,质量好的不一定有用。核心论证方法为列举它因和提出建议。For example, a simple white t-shirt may provide the same preventative benefit as a higher quality, more expensive, shirt designed only for skating.简单的t-shirt也能很有用。 Before skaters are encouraged to invest heavily in gear, a more complete understanding of the benefit provided by individual pieces of gear would be helpful. 建议我们对器材考虑得更加全面些。The argument for safety gear based on emergency room statistics could provide important information and potentially saves lives.强调原文的初衷还是很好的,就好像两个人在那里辩论,范文把原文给说急了,范文怕原文不高兴了,就再哄哄他:别看我骂了这么多,你的初衷还是好的嘛!值得肯定。 Before conclusions about the amount and kinds of investments that should be made in gear are reached, however, a more complete understanding of the benefits are needed. 范文看原文也不怎么哭了,于是最终还是委婉的表达了自己的建议。After all, a false confidence in ineffective gear could be just as dangerous as no gear at all. 最后补充论证自己的建议:论证方法为反证法。同时范文在最后吓唬一吓原文,告诉他不这样做的可怕的后果。 Reader Comment on 6This outstanding response demonstrates the writer's insightful analytical skills. The introduction, which notes that adopting the prompt's fallacious reasoning could "...inspire people to over invest financially and psychologically in protective gear," is followed by a comprehensive examination of each of the argument's root flaws. Specifically, the writer exposes several points that undermine the argument: --that preventive and protective gear are not the same that skaters who wear gear may be less prone to accidents because they are, by nature, more responsible and cautious
--that the statistics do not differentiate by the severity of the injuries *that gear may not need to be high-quality to be beneficial
The discussion is smoothly and logically organized, and each point is thoroughly and cogently developed. In addition, the writing is succinct, economical and error-free. Sentences are varied and complex, and diction is expressive and precise.
In sum, this essay exemplifies the very top of the "6" range described in the scoring guide. If the writer had been less eloquent or provided fewer reasons to refute the argument, the essay could still have been scored "6."
麦可的小总结:(1) 分析原题目中可取之处;指出原文中不足之处;推出论据中的潜在后果。(这里的第一点展开证明,这样虽然没有直接复述题目,但是这三点说完后整个框架就很清楚了)(2) 正文中第一段质疑我认为的核心假设错误(从原题目中的可取之处中寻找,要把它唯一
critique范文篇五
2014~2015四级真题作文
2015.6(1)
PartⅠWriting
这是一篇四级考试中常见的议论文。此次通过漫画所呈现出的话题phone(手机)是考生日常生活中熟悉的话题,因此写起来并不难。考生应该将重点放在第二段阐述手机与日常学习的关系上。联系实际分析可知二者关系为:手机为日常学习带来了便利条件,但不能完全取代校园学习。
一、提出观点:手机在学习中虽然重要但并非必不可少(playanimoortantbutnotindispensablerole)
二、论证观点
三、总结观点
手机在学习中的作用
漫画生动地描述了一个小学生问他的母亲,既然他的手机已经无所不知,为什么还要去上学。这幅漫画揭示了这样一个现象:一些学生高度依赖手机,而忽视了个人学习的重要性。然而,我认为,手机在学生们的学习中虽然重要但并非必不可少。
毫无疑问,手机给我们带来了很多便利,但是在学习过程中,我们不应该过度依赖手机。首先,我们自身应该具有很好的知识储备以应对没有手机在手边时的各种情况。其次,正是我们的个人知识促进了手机的发展。如果没有学校的基础教育,就没有手机的问世。
总而言之,过度依赖手机弊大于利。因此,我们应该合理地平衡手机与学习的关系。只有这样我们才能够从学习过程中获得最大的收益。{critique范文}.
2015.6(2)
PartIWriting
这是一篇四级考试中常见的议论文。此次通过漫画所呈现出的话题computer(电脑)是考生日常生活中耳熟能详的话题,因此写起来并不难。行文中,考生应将重点放在第二段阐述电脑与日常生活的关系上。联系实际分析可知,二者关系为:电脑为日常生活提供了便利,但不能完全占据人们的日常生活。
一、提出观点:电脑在日常生活中虽然重要但并非必不可少(animportantbutnotindispensablerole)
现代生活
漫画中是一个人,一天当中他无时无刻不在使用电脑,不论是在工作时、在家时、玩游戏时,还是在睡眠中。这幅漫画生动地描述了一种普遍现象:电脑现在深深地渗透到我们的日常生活中,我们甚至一分钟都不能没有它。尽管如此,在我看来,电脑在现代生活中虽然重要但并非必不可少。
诚然,电脑使我们的生活方便,并提供及时帮助。但它并非生活必需品。首先,过度沉迷于电脑对我们的健康不利。我们可能着迷于电脑上五花八门的内容而忽略了在业余时间锻炼身体。此外,过度使用电脑会将我们隔离在社交圈之外。因为我们可以通过电脑与虚拟世界中的朋友交谈,所以我们可能不会费心去与身边的亲朋好友交流。
总之,作为高科技的产物,电脑确实改善了我们的生活。但是我们不应该在电脑上花费过多的时间而舍弃享受美好的生活.
2015.6(3) Part I Writing
这是一篇四级考试中常见的图画作文。图片中展现的是一个女孩告诉妈妈她考入了妈妈心中理想的学校,其寓意是揭露现如今的家长为孩子做重大决定的普遍现象。
做自己命运的主人
正如图片中生动描绘的那样,一个女孩正在告诉她的妈妈:“好消息,我被你选择的大学录取了。”但讽刺的是,“你选择的”这几个字揭露了一个事实,那就是这个刚刚被实现的梦想并不属于这个女孩。
现如今的一个普遍现象是父母为孩子做很多决定,甚至在他们人生的重大转折点,包括选择大学和专业、找工作或是结婚:很多原因可以解释这一现象。首先,父母总是认为他们可以比孩子做出更明智的决定。而且,对于家里的独生子女,父母给予了太多的关注。此外,父母让孩子做他们想让孩子做的事情,好像这是实现他们自己未实现的梦想的唯一途径。
对青少年来说,人生道路很漫长。他们最终要自己做决定。而成为自己命运的主人是成长过程中的一大步。
2014.12(1)
PartIWriting
TheMostBeneficialCampusActivity
写作指南
本年度的作文文体比较自由,不再局限于议论文。题目要求考生介绍让自己“收获最大的校园活动”,并阐述原因。根据题目要求,文章的结构可安排如下:
第一段:引出话题,指出校园活动虽多,但个人觉得收获最大的活动是为农民工义教。
第二段:简要描述该义教活动的一些基本情况,如义教的目的、过程以及效果等。
第三段:简明扼要地阐述收获最大的原因,如让自己明白到大学生也可以为社会作出大改变。
范文与译文
亮点词汇
万能句型
1.…arenostrangersto…,suchas………对……并不会感到陌生.比如:……
2.…isalltheragetoday.如今,……非常流行。
3.Nowadaysweareexposedto…如今我们经常接触……
4.Nowadays,itisnotuncommonthat…如今,……并不少见。
1.Ifind…themostbeneficial.我觉得……使我收获最大。
2.Ibelieveitisveryrewardingto…我觉得……很有成就感。
3.Ithinkitisawin—winstrategyto…我认为,……是双赢的策略。
4.Ibelieve…isreallymeaningful.我觉得……很有意义。
写作模板
Studentsintheuniversityarenostrangerstoawealthofactivities,suchas(举2—3个具体例子).
I myselfhavebeeninvolvedinmanycampusactivities,amongwhichIfind(某类具体活动)themostbeneficial.
TheactivityWaslaunchedto(说明活动目的). (简要介绍活动情况).(简单说明活动效果).
Ivaluethisexperiencethemost,becauseitmakesme(说明收获).(进一步说明收获).
2014.12(2)
PartIWriting
TheMostImpressiveCourseinMyCollegeLife
写作指南
本年度的作文文体比较自由,不再局限于议论文。题目要求考生介绍自己“印象最深刻的一门课”,并阐述原因。 根据题目要求,文章的结构可安排如下:
critique范文篇六
法语议论文写法、常用套句及范文
Qu'est-ce qu'argumenter ?
L'objectif du discours argumentatif consiste à propos d'un thème (un sujet) de soutenir une thèse (un point de vue, une opinion) qui réponde à une problématique1. Il faut convaincre un adversaire, soit pour modifier son opinion ou son jugement, soit pour l'inciter à agir.
Quelques exemples pour mieux faire comprendre ces notions :
Un thème est un sujet de discussion plus ou moins précis, délimité : le tabac, les usages du tabac, les usages sociaux du tabac, les méfaits du tabac, tabac et drogue, tabac et addiction... Une problématique est formulée sous forme d'une question à propos du thème : le tabac est-il dangereux ? Pourquoi les jeunes gens fument-ils ? Quels sont les usages du tabac ?...
Une thèse est une réponse à cette problématique, une prise de position tranchée ou nuancée : oui, fumer est dangereux... Fumer est dangereux, toutefois la quantité, le type de pratique et l'attachement au produit nuancent le pronostic...
Argumenter, c'est donc définir la stratégie la plus efficace, la plus habile pour
faire connaître sa position, sa thèse,
la faire admettre à un lecteur ou à un auditoire,
ébranler des contradicteurs, faire douter un adversaire, faire basculer les indécis,
contredire une thèse opposée, critiquer une position contraire ou éloignée,
démontrer avec rigueur, ordre et progression,
se mettre en valeur,
servir une cause, un parti, une foi...
marquer les esprits par des effets de logique, de présentation, de mise en perspective, des procédés oratoires...
1. Première étape :{critique范文}.
Il faut d'abord lire l'énoncé et souligner les mots clès. Puis bien lire les consignes pour savoir ce qu'on vous demande
Repérez. Quel type de texte devez-vous écrire ? S'agit-il de convaincre ? Qui ? faut-il défendre une thèse ? Ou la réfuter ( contre la thèse exposée) ? Ou alors un point de vue métigé(pour et contre) ?
2. Deuxième étape :
Faire un brouillon: selon votreposition, choisissez vos arguments que vous devez illustrer par des exemples
Classez vos arguments du moins convaincant au plus convaincant afin de donner de plus en plus de poids à votre opinion.
3. Troisième étape :
Elaborez un plan. Chaque argument avec son explication (et ou exemple) doit constituer une partie.
Vous devez changerer de paragraphe à chaque argument pour rendre votre devoir plus clair.{critique范文}.
4. Quatrième étape :
Au brouillon, vous pouvez travailler les transitions, intégrer des connecteurs logiques (cependant, néanmoins, en effet...) ainsi que des mots de liaison pour marquer les différentes étapes : d'abord, ensuite, enfin.
5. Cinquième étape :
Rédigez l'introduction. Elle doit :
-Amener le sujet (le présenter d'une manière générale)
-Définir les termes du sujet c.a.d présenter la problématique (quelle est la question posée ?) - Annoncer le plan
6. Sixième étape :
Rédiger l'introduction puis le développement recopier en prenant le soin de de sauter des lignes entre chaque partie et d'aller à la ligne à chaque nouvelle idée, c'est-à-dire à chaque nouveau paragraphe.
7. Septième étape