commonessay范文

commonessay范文篇一

申请美国本科Essay的写作指导 范文分析

申请美国本科Essay的写作指导 范文分析

如今，美国本科申请的竞争愈演愈烈，对于众多美国名校申请者而言，在高中成绩、SAT、TOEFL等方面都能取得高分的情况下，究竟如何才能获得学校的青睐，从而争取到有限的录取名额？

专家分析，在美国绝大多数学校都不面试国际学生的情况下，毫无疑问，申请Essay是学生展示自己的最好机会。然而，众多学生在文书写作中却存在诸多问题，如：没有选择很好的Essay写作素材；回答学校的Essay题目偏题；语言、语法的表达错误等。这些因素不仅使得学生没有很好地通过Essay这个环节向学校展现自我，而且会给自己的申请带来不利影响。

因此，专家建议学生在申请Essay写作过程中一定要找相关方面的留学专家进行把关，这样才能最大限度地向学校展现自己，发挥Essay在申请过程中的重要作用，，从而申请到最理想的学校。

下面，留学专家将通过具体的文书写作实例来向学生讲解申请Essay的写作技巧。 [留言咨询]

• 芝加哥大学（University of Michigan）Essay I 题目：

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

• 学生原文：

“Hi! I’m Shanlin ” “How’s that pronounced? Wait, don’t you have an English name?“ (the idea is to highlight some conflict over whether it’s easier for you to give up and adopt an English name that’s not yours. We use the girl here as a device, so it’s okay to portray her as a little more ignorant and surprised by your Chinese name.)

This happened the first time I traveled outside China and introduced myself to a girl at our dorm. Her confusion left me quite puzzled too, and I wondered if picking an English name would indeed help me fit in. I flipped through dictionaries and name databases, looking for the perfect name to identify myself with. Hours later, frustrated and still indecisive, I closed the book and gave up. I don’t need an English name.

My Chinese name given by my grandfather represents the well wishes and love of my family. “Shan” means slow-paced, because my grandfather wants me to take the time to appreciate all that life has to offer; “Lin” means having a kind heart as pure as jade. I’m proud of my name, and I do my best to live up to it.

To my family, their only child is leaving for her journey into young adulthood; she must study hard in school and make them proud of her accomplishments. To my friends, the silly girl they grew up with is going all the way across the world for college; she must send back amazing photos of her new adventures. To my country, I am the daughter who, despite being thousands of miles away, will always carry the greatest memories of growing up in China.

And to me, Shanlin Hu, this is my exploration. I’ll always be Chinese, but as my geography expands, so will what I identify as my new community. I can’t wait to be a part of the Ann Arbor campus where I’ll make meet new people, learn about their cultures, celebrate new traditions, and teach everybody how to pronounce my Chinese name!

• 修改后的文章：

Living in Shanghai, I have a strong feeling towards the sea. What word might occur to people when they imagine the sea? Huge, endless, blue, shiny… however, when I come up to the shore in Shanghai, the word “dirty” strikes to my mind. What I sawwas far from an ocean paradise. Garbage barges slowly cut through the debris, while thick pools of oil lap against the shore. In recent years, our city has campaigned to reduce air and waste pollution. Iparticipated in the Johnson&Johnson’s Beach Clean-Up Day Project. I, together with other volunteers, worked two hours a day to collect the rubbish along the sea in the summer of 2012. After we finished the work,{commonessay范文}.

the scenes recurred in my mind: little boy kicked the beverage cans into the sea, drunken man threw away the bottle in his hand and visitors dropped their rubbish while they walked along the shore. We can send a volunteer team out every day, but it won’t solve the problem if our own people are the ones polluting the sea!

Then I took the initiative to encourage clean and green living among my classmates and neighbors. Since I have hundredsof fans on my Weibo, I think it may be a great deal if my fans spread the ideas to their friends so that I started to post the information about environmental protection on my micro-blog. Fortunately, more and more people in our community had noticed the information on Weiboand more people had joined the campaign to pass the spirit of promoting a cleaner Shanghai.

This is the community I belong to: calling for more people to protect the environment of Shanghai. I knowthere are still a lot of challenges on our way, but I will stick to that for the cityI love.{commonessay范文}.

• 留学专家点评：

初稿是通过写自己名字体现自己属于的家庭，并为自己的名字而感到自豪。但文章的题目是 “ 申请者属于哪个社区，以及在这个社区中的情况 ” 。很显然，学生将过多的文字放在自己名字的来历以及向别人介绍自己名字上，而并没有很好地回答学校的 Essay 题目。学生之前积极参加了强生 & 强生组织的海滩清理活动，并且之后积极推广环保活动。因此， AA留学建议学生可以深入挖掘这些素材，通过描写自己在活动中做的事情，来向学校展现自己属于积极保护环境的社区。通过内容上的调整，学生不仅很好地回答了学校 Essay 的问题，同时也展现了自己热心公益、保护环境的一面。

• 纽约大学（New York University）Essay B题目：

B. What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

• 学生原文：

I was first attracted to TV show “Friends” for its helpfulness in improving English, what it is well known for in China. After a few episodes, I found it so hilarious that I had to keep watching until I finished all ten seasons. But by the end of last scene, funny jokes or any other things become so trivial; the only thing that matters is their affections towards one another. I feel like I was one of them: I cried when Ross and Rachel broke up; I laughed when Chandler and Monica got married; I smiled when Joe was willing to anything that would ruin his reputation just to cover for Monica and Chandler; I panicked when Rachel thought of moving to France.

It has taught me something deeper than laughers or language; it taught me how to care for a person you love. I used to think those six people became good friends because they have close relationship like Rachel and Monica used to go to high school together, or Ross and Chandler were college roommates. Yet as the story keeps going, I figured they are friends because they cared so much. They lied, cried, fought, argued, did all kinds of ugly things just to make a friend happy. I was touched by the bonding between them.

I used to wait for magic to happen, hoping someday a perfect girl would come to me and be my best friend. Yet it never happened. Now I know I had to give my affection to make wishes come true.When you stop being selfish and care others as you care for yourself, friends will just come around.

• 修改后的文章：

I’m a big fan of old movies, among which The Sound of Music is one of my favorites. Many of my peers often laugh at my falling behind current fashion, but I could find the cultural and aesthetic significance of these classic films.

The talented cast, the sentimental story and the amazing music contribute to the success of “The Sound of Music” . The story is based on the true story of Maria and the Von Trapp family. Maria, who did not fit into the abbey, was sent to be the governess of seven children of Captain Von Trapp. Finally, Maria and Captain Von Trapp have romantic feelings for one another. At the same time, Nazis are moving into and preparing to take over their country. Von Trapps made the painful decision to leave their beloved country. The story is of courage, the power of music, and the feeling of love.

The film is filled with glorious songs and has plenty of romantics to enjoy, from which I could feel the importance of family, the universality of music and the patriotism. One of its lyrics

“Follow your heart, believe it will happen”, ofteninspires and encourages me to pursue my goals persistently. Also in the arm of hope, happiness and harmony, this timeless classic brings out resonance and gives us vicarious pleasure.

• 留学专家点评：

纽约大学Essay B的问题是“谈谈一样让你感兴趣的艺术品、科学研究或者文学作品，以及它们对你的影响”。学校旨在通过这道Essay题目考查学生对文学、艺术方面的兴趣爱好，以及学生的思想理念。学生之前写的是“老友记”的内容，但文章对作品的认识和理解并不深入。学生后来选择的“音乐之声”的素材，首先重点谈了自己对这部作品的体会和认识，并且

commonessay范文篇二

新commonessay-2015版

1、Some students have a background,identity,interest,or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

解析：

对有的人来说，背景、身份、心情或才能是如此重要。如果没有这些，这个人的申请就不能算是完整。如果你也有同感，请和我们分享你的故事。

2、The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

解析：

失败是成功之母。讲述你的一次失败的经历，并说明这次失败怎样影响你，你从这次失败中学会了什么。

3、Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?

解析：

请回忆一次你挑战某种观点或信念的经历。是什么促使你这么做?如果再给你一次机会重新选择，你是否仍然会这么做?

4、Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal

importance, no matter the scale.Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

解析：

请描述你解决过或者希望解决的一个难题。这个难题可以是智力挑战、研究问题或是道德问题，范围不限。请解释它对你的重要性，你解决问题采取的措施或者找出解决方案。

5、Discuss an accomplishment or event,formal or informal,that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture,community,or family.

解析：

请讨论一下发生在你的文化、社区、家庭范围之内的标志着你变得成熟的一个成就或一件事，这件事可以是正式的或者非正式的。

commonessay范文篇三

新版Common Application Essay题目及分析

新版Common Application Essay题目及分析

发表于 2013年07月03日

Please write an essay (250-500 words) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your

ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.

Note: Your Common Application essay should be the same for all colleges. Do not customize it in any way for individual colleges. Colleges that want customized essay responses will ask for them on a supplement form.

说明： 申请文书体现的是你对所选择的主题，能够用清晰、简洁的语言表达，同时通过你自己的语言让你与众不同。除了你上的课程、分数及考试成绩等信息，你希望申请审核人了解你是一个什么样

的人。从以下主题中选择一个完成写作，字数不多于650字，但不少于250字。

从2013年8月起，应用最广泛的美国大学申请系统Common Application要经历一次大变革。更新内容 包括答题形式的变化，可以创建无限制数量的申请版本等。其中最重大的变化无疑为文书题目的变化。新Common提供五个文书题目，要求学生选择其中一个来写作。延续Common Application的精神，新题目仍然要求学生不要针对任何一个特定的学校进行通用文书的写作。下面是五个新题目和每个题目的写

作建议。

Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

对有的人来说，背景、经历或一个故事是如此重要。如果没有这段经历、背景或故事，这个人就不能算是个完整的人。如果你也有同感，请和我们分享你的故事。

题目分析：该题目的难度其实不大，其实该题目可以解读为分享一个对你来说特别重要的故事。你可以分享任何事，比如你的家族故事，一次登山的经历，一次徒步旅行的见闻，一次志愿者活动的经历，等等。只要这段经历或故事能向学校展示你是个怎样的人。写作时要注意，分享故事不等于只讲故事，叙述完这个故事或经历之后，一定要加入这段经历给你带来的收获。

Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?

讲述你的一次失败的经历，并说明这次失败怎样影响你，你从这次失败中学会了什么。

题目分析：这个题目的重点在后半段，即你从失败中获取的经验教训。怎样的失败不是最重要的问题，招生官关心的是学生如何从失败中获取教训，进而成长和发展的。因此这篇题目对于叙事和议论的篇幅比例控制在3:7左右比较合适。选择这个题目切忌回避失败，或者在失败这个词上玩文字游戏。错误的例子比如某生批评自己太过追求完美，其实是在花费大量篇幅褒奖自己是多么的注意细节。如果没有把握能掌控这个题目，建议不选该题目。

Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?

请回忆一次你挑战某种观点或信念的经历。是什么促使你这么做？如果再给你一次机会重新选择，你是否仍然会这么做？

题目分析：该题目的意思其实请你讲述一段你挑战权威的经历。讲述这个故事时自然的交代你这么做的原因。比较简单的写作手法是夹叙夹议，在叙事的过程中既交代了原因，也分析了这么做或不这么做会产生的不同后果，再自然的得到结论，如果再来一次你的选择是什么。美国大学喜欢具有挑战精神的人，但要区别挑战权威和无理取闹。并不是说反对老师的每一个要求就是挑战权威。所以选取事例时一定要注意把握。

Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there and why is it meaningful to you?

请描述让你觉得最舒服的一个地方或一处环境。你在那里做过什么？为什么你觉得这个地方对你有特殊的意义？

题目分析：这是一个很能体现学生创新意识和思维能力的题目。Place和environment几乎可以理解为任何地方，大到某个城市，一座山，小到小区的空地上，一间房间，甚至是一张床。如果能挑选一个非常特别的place或environment，并且清楚的讲述出这个地方对你的特别意义，那这篇文章就是一篇吸引人眼球的好文章。

Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

请讨论一下标志着你变得成熟的一个成就或一件事。这件事可以是正式的或者非正式的。

题目分析：这里的成熟不是指生理上的成熟，而是指心理上的成熟。每个人成为一个成熟的人总有一定的契机，有可能是转学到新的学校，在适应新环境的过程中成熟了。也有可能是父母因故外出一段时间，独自一人的生活让你变得成熟了。也有可能是某次成功或失败的比赛经历让你变得成熟。可选的例子有很多，限制也不会那么大，记住要分析为何使你变得成熟的原因。

commonessay范文篇四

Common Essay要求 (1)

Instructions： The essay demonstrates your ability to write clearly and

concisely on a selected topic and helps you distinguish yourself in your own voice. What do you want the readers of your application to know about you apart from courses, grades, and test scores？

Choose the option that best helps you answer that question and write an essay of no more than 650 words, using the prompt to inspire and structure your response. Remember： 650 words is your limit, not your goal. Use the full range if you need it, but don't feel obligated to do so. (The application won't accept a response shorter than 250 words.)

说明： 申请文书体现的是你对所选择的主题，能够用清晰、简洁的语言表达，同时通过你自己的语言让你与众不同。除了你上的课程、分数及考试成绩等信息，你希望申请审核人了解你是一个什么样的人。从以下主题中选择一个完成写作，字数不多于650字，但不少于250字。

1 • Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

有些学生有一个背景或故事，这个背景和故事是那么的重要，以至于没有这个背景和故事，他们的申请就不完整。如果这是你，请分享你的故事。

2 • Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn？

描述你经历失败的事件或者时刻，它如何影响你，你从中学到什么？{commonessay范文}.

3 • Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act？ Would you make the same decision again？

回想当你挑战一个信仰或者想法的时刻，什么促使你去这样做？现在你是否还会像当时那样做？

4 • Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you？

描述一个使你非常满意的地方或者环境。你在那做了什么或者经历了什么，为什么那个地方对你有意义。

5 • Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

论述一个在你的文化、社区、家庭范围之内的成就或者事件，正式的或非正式的，使你完成了从童年到成年的转换。

commonessay范文篇五

哈佛大学Essay范文

哈佛大学Essay范文：Too Easy to Rebel

成功申请哈佛大学的Essay范文：Too Easy to Rebel

In my mother’s more angry and disillusioned moods, she often declares that my sisters and I are “smarter than is good” for us, by which she means we are too ambitious, too independent-minded, and somehow, subtly un-Chinese. At such times, I do not argue, for I realize how difficult it must be for her and my father—having to deal with children who reject their simple idea of life and threaten to drag them into a future they do not understand.{commonessay范文}.

For my parents, plans for our futures were very simple. We were to get good grades, go to good colleges, and become good scientists, mathematicians, or engineers. It had to do with being Chinese. But my sisters and I rejected that future, and the year I came home with Honors in English, History and Debate was a year of disillusion for my parents. It was not that they weren’t proud of my accomplishments, but merely that they had certain ideas of what was safe and solid, what we did in life. Physics, math, turning in homework, and crossing the street when Hare Krishnas were on our side—those things were safe. But the Humanities we left for Pure Americans.

Unfortunately for my parents, however, the security of that world is simply not enough for me, and I have scared them more than once with what they call my “wild” treks into unfamiliar areas. I spent one afternoon interviewing the Hare Krishnas for our school newspaper—and they nearly called the police. Then, to make things worse, I decided to enter the Crystal Springs Drama contest. For my parents, acting was something Chinese girls did not do. It smacked of the bohemian, and was but a short step to drugs, debauchery, and all the dark, illicit facets of life. They never did approve of the experience—even despite my second place at Crystal Springs and my assurances that acting was, after all, no more than a whim.

What I was doing when was moving away from the security my parents prescribed. I was motivated by my own desire to see more of what life had to offer, and by ideas I’d picked up at my Curriculum Committee meetings. This committee consisted of teachers who felt that students should learn to understand life, not memorize formulas; that somehow our college preparatory curriculum had to be made less rigid. There were English teachers who wanted to integrate Math into other more “important” science courses, and Math teachers who wanted to abolish English entirely. There were even some teachers who suggested

making Transcendental Meditation a requirement. But the common denominator behind these slightly eccentric ideas was a feeling that the school should produce more thoughtful individuals, for whom life meant more than good grades and Ivy League futures. Their values were precisely the opposite of those my parents had instilled in me.

It has been a difficult task indeed for me to reconcile these two opposing impulses. It would be simple enough just to rebel against all my parents expect. But I cannot afford to rebel. There is too much that is fragile—the world my parents have worked so hard to build, the security that comes with it, and a fading Chinese heritage. I realize it must be immensely frustrating for my parents, with children who are persistently “too smart” for them and their simple idea of life, living in a land they have come to consider home, and yet can never fully understand. In a way, they have stopped trying to understand it, content with their own little microcosms. It is my burden now to build my own, new world without shattering theirs; to plunge into the future without completely letting go of the past. And that is a challenge I am not at all certain I can meet.

点评Comments:

1.This is a good strong statement about the dilemma of being a part

of two different cultures. The theme is backed by excellent examples of the conflict and the writing is clear, clean, and crisp. The essay then concludes with a compelling summary of the dilemma and the challenge it presents to the student.

2.A masterful job of explaining the conflict of being a child of two cultures. The writer feels strongly about the burden of being a first generation American, but struggles to understand her parents’ perspective. Ultimately she confesses implicitly that she cannot understand them and faces her own future. The language is particularly impressive:“It smacked of the bohemian,” “subtly unChinese,” and “a fading Chinese heritage.” That she is not kinder to her parents does not make her unkind, just determined.

commonessay范文篇六

美国大学网申Common App 公布最新 Essay 题目,附详细解析。

美国大学网申Common App 公布最新 Essay 题目，附详细解析。

对于今年秋天要申请美国大学的小伙伴们来说，今天可是个大日子。因为美国大学最重要的网申系 统Common Application 今天公布了最新的Essay 题目。虽说现在距离秋季的申请还有一段时间，小伙伴们还沉浸在围观，美国大学秋季申请的大幕已经拉开。

有同学可能要问了，Common Application 是什么?

Common Application(通常称为CommonApp)是美国大学本科入学网上申请的一站式网站，适用于包括哈佛、耶鲁等名校在内的510所美国大学。

要注意的是，加州大学各分校不采用这个网申系统。

Common App 有自己固定的 Essay 题目，这些题目在2013年有过一次重大修改。而最近两年间都鲜有大的变动。

在本次修改之前，Common App 曾对上千所大学和民众进行调查，并最终根据各方的反馈意见做出了本次修改。

题目解析

第1题

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

原题：

Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

这道题的改动不大，主要是添加了“talent”这个选项，可以写作的范围更广了。这样一个题目，可以引导学生写出几乎所有类型的故事。举个例子，假如你是个三胞胎，假如你从小在农村长大，你是否曾经在父母工作到很晚的时候帮忙照顾弟弟妹妹过?

第2题：

The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

原题：

Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?{commonessay范文}.

每次要写失败的经历，总是让人为难。这道题的改动也不算大。主要是增加的第一句，强调了“lessons we take from failure” ，即你从失败中获得了怎样的教训，这些教训是如何帮助你成功的。

一般来说，如果你对其他题目更感兴趣的话，我建议你最好还是不要选这个题目了。因为写失败带来的教训，无非结论就是“只有努力才能成功”，很难有新意。当然，如果你的故事非常有意义的，你可以选择这个题目。

第3题：

Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?

原题：

Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?

这道题没有修改!

我一直觉得这道题出的不错，我很好奇大家会有哪些挑战权威的举动，我想学校应该也很好奇。不过貌似选这道题的人非常少。

第4题：

Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

原题：

Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

这道题的改动是最大的!可以算是一个全新的题目。

主页菌感到一点蛋蛋的忧伤。因为原题我还是比较喜欢的…heartbreak…当大家在描述自己最喜欢的事物时，总是写的格外投入。记得曾经看过一篇essay，作者写的是自己对德国歌剧的喜爱，特别令人动容。 虽然对被替换的原题感到遗憾，但是新的题目也不错。解决问题的能力确实是非常重要的一种能力，这种能力可以体现在演奏一首乐曲上，也体现在解决一道数学题上。我猜这道题应该会受到学生的欢迎。 第5题：

Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

原题：

Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

这道题也没有修改!

题目出的很棒，但是很难作答!要用650个字说清楚更难。

现在我们能做什么?

新的题目现在就出来了，而申请要到秋天呢，现在我们能做些什么呢?

主页菌建议大家不妨先把题目浏览一遍，大概想想自己对哪个问题感兴趣，能分享哪些故事，你有哪些故事是你想让学校知道的。在脑子里过一过就可以了。不必现在就着急动手写。如果有什么灵光一现的想法，可以先记录下来。

另外，在正式开始写essay之前，强烈建议大家先去读一些优秀的Essay范本或者辅导书籍。 在这里为大家推荐几本经典之作。

语法和写作方面，推荐 Constance Hale 的 Sin and Syntax，她真的是一个文字天才。

你还可以考虑订一本 The New Yorker 杂志。里面既有短essay、长文章、新闻、时政分析，也有艺术、文化、幽默故事，甚至还有小说、诗歌、卡通连载。通过阅读这些文章，你不仅可以学习到写作技巧，还可以获得到各个领域的信息，了解各方的观点，非常具有启发性。

不过以上两本虽然好，但见效比较慢，有没有针对大学申请的Essay写作书籍推荐呢?

当然有，这里给大家推荐两本，一本是 The Best American Essays 系列，另一本是 The Best American Nonrequired Reading(由Dave Eggers编辑)，这两本书在美国都是以高中生为目标读者的书籍，对网申 Essay 的写作会有直接的帮战

就眼下而言，你还不必太为Essay担心。还是之前说的，先浏览一下题目找找感觉，读你喜欢的书，做你喜欢的事，这就是为 Essay 做的最好准备!